Japanese are the fairest of them all.

 Do you see this anime character?

image.png

↑ This means madness induced by both living in Japan and being blond-haired, blue-eyed, and tall. And many American men like Naurto do go mad when they find themselves in Japan. Because they become self-aware that Caucasian pasty cheesy skin is not actually white.



Not white!

Remember that. symbolically speaking, white means "the fairest". The magic mirror, when asked by the wicked (which means evil) queen who is the fairest of them all, responded that Snow White is the fairest.

Caucasian men are a lot like the wicked queen from Snow White. They wake up to the mirror in their dresser every morning, and are told that they are white, which means the fairest. But one day, a few of them, after being exposed to Japanese skin, realize that the magic mirror on their dresser has a different answer to the question of who has the paper-white skin. It's the Japanese, dear queen!

What was the type of fruit of the tree of knowing good and evil?

It must have been a banana.

Imagine this (fukayuu John Lennon for fucking Japanese. You're going to need Harry Potter and expecto-fucking-petronum, the time turner, and the motherfucking nimbus 3000 to get those nasty Caucasian genes out of the archipelago of beauty divine).

A man and woman are walking around in the Garden of Eden with the head honchō present. Honchō says "don't eat of this fruit, for the day when you eat of it, you will certainly die." (Genesis 2:17). A bunch of other stuff happens and out of curiosity they pick a funny-shaped fruit. They looked at it and saw it was yellow on the outside and white on the inside.

Suddenly the honchō appears in all of his oriental glory, and they stand ashamed of their pasty skin. They go out and choose clothing to pretend that Caucasians and Japanese are equal (my ass!). Head honchō appears and expels them so they don't take of the tree of life and discover banana-panana no jutsu.

image.png

Story time. At Northridge prepatory school, there was an Angel who was blessed enough to receive the inheritence of being a full-blooded (what do you think the quantum in quantum physics referred to?) Japanese. He died in a car crash at the intersection of Ballard and Greenwood. You can call him St. Isamu, if you like. Why did he go at a tender young age of 17? Because he would have caused the greatest shitstorm had he stayed there. Forget Church, Math, Reading, etc... all the pasty Polish catholics would be thinking about how to get banana-no-jutsu working.

And do you know why this counterfactual case would have happened?

Because it happened at Maine South in the graduating class of 2011.

Japanese-American Kevin Lee enters freshman year among a bunch of pasty nerds. Each study hall, auditorium, cafeteria, etc... we all take turns looking at his Japanese features. Repeat for three years. By senior year nobody could do any work. It was extinguished. We had all become too self-aware. None of us were thinking about University. All we were thinking about was chemistry class and how to get banana-no-jutsu working. Game over. Uncle Sam had to replace everyone in the high school, which is why when the youngest of the family entered Maine South it was a completely different institution.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Why Adolf Hitler, the founder of the Nazi party and perpetrator of the Holocaust, was the classical villain and not the anti-villain.

Why Florida attained Satori, not ignorance, for booing & hissing at Michaelangelo's David.

When will humanity receive the electric Japanese?