When will humanity receive the electric Japanese?

 From A.D. 1889 until A.D. 2019, the kilogram--the fundamental unit defining what it means for an object to have mass--was defined by the international prototype kilogram, which was a pure cylinder of platinum-iridium whose mass was equal to 1 kg by definition. However, for the sake of control, multiple replicas of the international prototype kilogram were minted at once, and physicists discovered that among these replicas, drift in mass occurred, meaning that the mass of the original international prototype kilogram was changing and no longer static. As a result, physicists defined the electric kilogram (a definition which is so complex it joined the list of bitcoin and quantum computing among subjects I have no hope of understanding), which allows for physicists to define a kilogram abstractly, without reference to a particular.

Humanity is in a similar situation with the Japanese.

1. From the Tower of Babel until A.D. 1543, Japanese was defined by the Japanese prototype of the Yamato people, who lived in their archipelago of divine beauty since ~600 B.C. (?)
2. Due to miscegenation with Caucasians (whose skin are pasty and cheesy and not white), it is no longer possible to define a Japanese man except by the most general stereotypes (squinty eyes).
3. Therefore it is necessary for physicists to originate the story of the electric Japanese, so that no matter how many John Lennons fukayuu, we'll at least know abstractly what it means to be a Japanese.

Q.E.D.

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